Beautiful Misery bs-2 Read online

  “Go to hell, Gage. Do you worst but you won’t break me. Not when it comes to you and your happiness. I will always be there, even when you don’t want me to be.”

  I paused at the door, letting out an empty laugh. I jerked the handle and said, “We’ll see about that.” I opened the door and walked out, letting it slam behind me.

  Making my way through the crowd and to the bar I ignored person after person trying to talk to me. I didn’t want small talk, I wanted drunk.

  Really, really drunk. Forget the world drunk.

  Spotting an empty stool at the bar, I grabbed it and slid into the seat.

  There she was.

  Annie was leaning over grabbing bottles of alcohol. As she was leaning up she sweetly asked, “Can I help ya?”

  Setting the bottles on the counter she brought her eyes to mine. Her sapphire blue eyes were soaking me in. Her tight ‘Wet Spot’ t-shirt hugged her large tits and stopped just below her belly button, showing off her athletic stomach and making me fight another hard-on.

  Giving her a half smile I said, “Double shot of tequila with salt and lime, please.”

  Annie stared for a few seconds before raking her bottom teeth over her upper lip. Jesus fuck that was hot. She sat a shot glass in front of me with a napkin beside it. Reaching under the bar she grabbed a salt shaker and lime wedge, setting them on the napkin. Turning around she stretched her arm up, reaching for the tequila. In doing so she gave me a perfect view of her tight ass and that tattoo on her lower back.

  Alis Volat Propriis.

  Seeing it earlier I had thought it was a tramp stamp, but up close I could see that it wasn’t in the usual tramp stamp location. It was offset to the right, almost wrapping around her hip.

  Pouring the tequila she never took her eyes off the glass. She was nervous. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was her boss or if she felt what I felt. I wanted to know. She sat the bottle of tequila on the bar and finally looked at me again. Those eyes. Those eyes could make me do very bad things to her. There was something about them that pulled me in. Her eyes were mesmerizing.

  Keeping my eyes locked with hers, I brought my right hand to my mouth licking a small spot on the back of my hand. I grabbed the salt and shook it onto my hand. Picking up the shot glass, I licked the back of my salt covered hand, downed the shot, replacing the glass with the lime wedge.

  Annie’s eyelids were getting heavier with each passing second. If I kept this up I could have her in my bed within an hour. I could fuck her until I forgot all the shit. That is exactly what I plan on doing. Forget.

  “Another one, beautiful. This time I want you to do one with me,” I ordered in a gruff voice.

  Annie looked torn. She was quiet for a minute before a smile crept across her face and she nodded. “Sure.” She poured two more shots and grabbed two more lime wedges.

  “Ladies first.”

  Annie brought her hand to her lips. Her tongue darted out of her mouth to quickly to lick the back of her hand. She took the salt shaker and covered the spot she just licked. Setting the salt back on the bar, Annie said, “Your turn, ball boy.”

  Raising an eyebrow I smirked. “Sweetheart, I am in no way a ball boy. I could show you just how anti-ball I am.”

  Annie slowly shook her head and smiled. “I’m sure you could, but I’ll take your word for it. I already have a guy who keeps me very happy. He’s very over protective and could probably whoop your ass if he found out you’re hitting on me.” Her mouth raised on one side and she tried to hide her smile

  Fuck me. I should have known that guy from earlier was Dropping the subject I lick my hand and shake some salt onto the spot.

  Both reaching for our glasses I held mine up. “Here’s to wild nights and single parents.”

  Annie’s smile faded as she clinked her glass to mine. “Cheers.”

  We tossed our shots back and sucked on the lime. Seeing Annie suck the lime made me picture her full lips wrapped around my dick.

  And my boner was back.

  This girl was going to occupy my dreams. She would be in my bed before I left to start my season. I had to have her.

  “One more?” I asked, hopeful.

  “Not for me. Some of us have to work around here. We can’t all be gazillionaires and sit on our asses, hitting on bartenders, and getting drunk.” Annie said.

  “I’m not a gazillionaire and I am not hitting on you. Trying to get you into my bed, yes. Trying to ask you on a date,” I paused and slowly shook my head. “No.”

  Annie’s cheeks turned a light pink before she said, “With an attitude like that, I can see why you’re a single parent.”

  Drawing back, I let my gaze fall to the gold band on my finger. I felt like I was cheating on Cobie in some sick and twisted way.

  “My wife died from cancer five months ago. We found out when she was pregnant that she had Osteosarcoma. She couldn’t take treatments while pregnant.” Pushing my tears back, I ran my finger around the brim of the glass. “Three months after our daughter was born she died. Nothing to do with my attitude.”

  Annie covered her mouth. “Shit. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

  Shrugging to play it off I smiled and said, “So, how about that other shot?”

  Annie filled our two glasses up again, grabbing two more lime wedges.

  Eight shots for me and five shots for Annie later we were both getting sloppy. I needed to walk away. She was my employee, but she was also gorgeous and funny.

  “I think your shift is over, Barker can handle the bar for another hour. Let’s get outta here.”

  Annie rested her elbows and forearms on the bar, leaning forward just enough that I could see down her shirt. Biggest ‘all natural’ tits I had ever seen. I wanted to rip her shirt off just so I could suck her nipples into my mouth as I let my hands wonder down her curvy body and into her little shorts. I could just imagine sliding my fingers into her tight, wet pussy. The noises she would make, the way her body would shake as she came in my hands.

  “We need to get outta here, now. I need to get you in my bed and underneath me,” I gruffed.

  Annie’s tongue darted out and wet her bottom lip. “I’m not that easy Mr. Tucker. You’re going to have to try harder than that.” Annie grabbed the towel she had tucked in her back pocket and tossed it on the bar. “I’m out Barker. See you tomorrow.”

  Without giving me a second glance she was gone. Shit.

  And then I had an idea…….

  16

  Annie

  Did I just walk away from the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on? Yes, yes I did. And for a damn good reason. It wasn’t like he was interested in getting to know me. He wanted me for one reason and I wasn’t going to fall into his bed like most women would. I have respect for myself. I have respect for him, even if he is kinda an ass. Besides, I don’t want to risk getting who knows what kind of disease or more importantly getting pregnant from a one night stand gone wrong.

  Now, to figure out how in the hell I would get home. I could call Jase and he would pick me up, but that would leave Gabe with Tristan. I don’t want that. Standing in the middle of the still packed parking lot I looked up to the big night sky.

  There is was. Derek’s star was twinkling right beside the moon. I always told Gabe that was Derek’s way of telling us hi and that he loved us.

  “Annie, wait up!” Leigha called after me. Stopping I waited on my best friend. “Please tell me what I heard is a lie.”

  Looking at her like she had three heads I asked, “Huh? What did you hear?”

  Giving me her famous ‘cut the shit’ look, she put one of her hands on her hip and waved between me and the bar with her other. “That you told one very sexy Mr. Tucker no. Barker told me that owner man got all up in some guys Kool-Aid for messin’ with you then kicked him out. He also told me that owner man couldn’t take his eyes off of you and that your eyes seemed pretty distracted as well.”

  “Barker is an idiot and needs to learn h
ow to keep his damn mouth shut.”

  Leigha squealed, jumping up and down. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Gage Tucker has the hots for my best friend.”

  “Um no. He was drunk. He got me drunk. And now I have no idea how I’m getting home.”

  “I’ll drive and crash at your house tonight.”

  I handed Leigha my keys and sunk into the passenger seat. When my car started the song that always made me think of Derek filled the silence. So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold. “Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if Derek hadn’t been killed?”

  She held my hand and gave me a sad smile. “Sometimes. Especially when I see Gabe playing the guitar. He is a mini me of his dad.”

  “I hate Tristan. It’s been six years and I still hate him. A little part of me hates Derek too. He knew what he was doing that night when he got in the car with Tristan. He knew the risk he was taking. He knew he was going to be a father.”

  “Oh sweetie. Tristan hate’s himself too. You know he blames himself. We were all young and stupid. You got lucky and ended up pregnant. Derek was so proud he was going to be a dad.” Leigha looked out of my sunroof. “You know as well as I do that if he thought for one minute getting in that car with Tristan would take him away from you and Gabe he never would have went.”

  She was right. Derek loved the idea that I was having his baby. I was only seventeen, he was eighteen, but we were in love. “I know. That doesn’t stop me from thinking ‘what if’. Would the boys have made it big and would we be sittin’ fat on our asses on some private island. Would the guys still be playing in the garage and we barely scraping to get by? Or maybe we would be comfortable having nine to five jobs with a couple of kids.”

  Leigha shrugged. “Maybe. But we will never know. You can’t keep thinking ‘what if’. Eventually you have to let go and move on. Close that chapter in your life and start writing a new one.”

  I didn’t want to move on. I didn’t want to forget Derek. He was the only chapter I knew. I feared change, despised it. Moving on meant starting something new which meant leaving Derek behind. I wasn’t ready for that and didn’t know if I ever would be. Gabe was the guy I snuggled with and loved. He was the spitting image of his daddy with his shaggy light brown hair and soft hazel eyes. His attitude dead on. Gabe did what he wanted and said what he thought. He was a good kid but I could already tell when he got older I would be put through hell.

  Not wanting to talk about Derek anymore I lied. “I’ll try. Let’s go home and sleep. I’m so tired.”

  “What in the hell?” I yanked my phone off the nightstand to look at the time. A little after nine. Who would be at my house this early? The only people that would need to be here this early have a key. One of those people was still asleep next to me.

  “Will you go answer the damn door? It’s too early for me to get up.” Leigha mumbled.

  Flinging the sheet off of me, I stomped into the living room and jerked the front door open. There was a younger guy standing in front me, looking me up and down.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, irritated.

  “Are you Annie Holland?” The boy looked familiar but no way would I know someone as young as him.

  “Depends. Who wants to know?”

  The boy surpried the shit outta me when he said, “I like you.”

  Scrunching my face I asked, “Excuse me?”

  Smiling, the boy said, “Nevermind”-shaking his head he added- “I have a delivery for you.”

  “I didn’t order anything.”

  Rolling his eyes, he said, “You know, people can order stuff for you. You know, like as a surprise.” Leaning over the boy grabbed a huge vase of lillies I hadn’t noticed. “I was told to tell you to make sure you read the card. Have a nice day.”

  Taking the flowers I mumbled my thanks and kicked the door shut. Shuffling into the kitchen I sat the vase on the counter and opened the card.

  Hope you’re not feeling too bad this morning. Tequila can be a bitch. Asprin and Coffee helps.

  “Leigha! Leigha Cole get your ass in here now!” I shouted as loud as I could.

  Rubbing her eyes Leigha walked into the kitchen. Even first thing in the morning she looked gorgeous. “You better be dying right now.” Gorgeous, yes…pleasant, no.

  “I think I might be. Look at this shit.” I stepped to the side so she could see on the counter behind me.

  Blinking a few time, her jaw dropped. “Are those from him?” She took a few steps toward the counter, leaning in to smell them.

  “Yes. That fucker! I can’t accept these. I’m taking them to work and shoving them in his face.”

  Leigha still had her face in the flowers but looked at me out the side of her eyes. “Why? He’s just trying to be nice.”

  Snorting, I said, “More like trying to get in my panties.”

  “Eh, whatever. Flowers are flowers, and these are amazing. But, how did he know where you lived? Maybe he’s a stalker.”

  They were pretty. “Leigha, he’s our boss. I’m sure he looked at my application. If I keep them he will get the wrong idea. Better to nip this in the ass and say goodbye to the pretty flowers so he knows I’m not interested.”

  “Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. But still, you can keep the flowers and still tell him you’re not interested in anything other than being friends.”

  “Leigha, I don’t even know the man. Well, he did tell me he was a single parent to his daughter, his wife died a few months ago. Other than that I know nothing. I don’t want to be his friend. He’s my boss.”

  Her eyes lit up and she giggled, “Oh, it would be like a dirty, secret office romance.”

  “Um, I’m just going to act like I didn’t just hear that.” Shoving the card back into the flowers I said, “I’m going to call your brother and see if he wants to meet me at the beach with Gabe. If you promise to keep your mouth shut you can come.”

  Leigha held her hand up to her mouth and pretended she was zipping it shut then throwing the key away. “These lips are sealed.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Taking one last look at the flowers I started to walk away. Today I wouldn’t worry about Gage or his pretty flowers or his sky blue eyes or the way he smelled like walking sex or the way his smile made my stomach flip or how all I could think about was feeling him inside me or the very, very dirty dream I had about him. Nope, no Gage Tucker on my brain. Ha! Who was I kidding?

  Stupid men.

  I called Jase and we decided to meet at the beach at noon. When we pulled up I saw Jase’s car and Tristan’s truck already there. Inwardly groaning I turned my car off and grabbed my bag from the backseat with towels and sunblock. I didn’t want to be around him today. Gage already had my head in a clusterfuck. I really didn’t need Tristan trying to be my best friend.

  “Mommy! Guess what I can do?” Gabe was running out of the ocean as I walked down the beach.

  “Wipe your own ass?” I joked. Gabe loved Big Daddy, one of his favorite movies. Yeah, yeah I know what a horrible mom I am for letting him watch movies like that blah blah blah. He either hears it with me or from someone he doesn’t know.

  Gabe laughed. “Well yeah mommy. And I still want my name to be Frankenstien but guess what else I can do?”

  Bending down, I kissed the top of his head. He was always so happy on the beach. I asked, “What else, buddy?”

  “Uncle Jase taught me the first verse of Sweet Home Alabama on the guitar.”

  Looking up at Jase he winked. Bringing my attention back to my little boy I asked, “He did? I can’t wait to hear it.”

  “Uncle Jase said he will teach me more tonight when you’re at work.”

  “That sounds fun baby. I guess you had a lot of fun with Uncle Jase last night?”

  Gabe nodded quickly. “Duh mommy. He also told me I can’t show my penis in public.”

  “Well, yes he’s right, but why did he tell you that?” I started walking again.

  “Tristan was watching some movie and the g
uy was showing all the girls his penis. And, you know what mommy? That guy had an earring in his penis. It was so gross. I don’t ever want an earring in my penis. The guy in the movie had a big penis, mommy. Why isn’t mine that big?”

  My eyes were huge. I was frantically looking around to make sure no one was hearing my five year old repeatedly saying penis or talking about some guy’s penis peircing. Thankfully everyone was ignoring us.

  I wanted to laugh but that wouldn’t be right. Instead I dropped to my knees to look Gabe in his eyes. “You don’t pay attention to Tristan, okay. He’s a bad boy. And from now on, lets not say penis in public.”

  Wrinkling his nose, Gabe looked back at where the group of guys were sitting. “You don’t like him, huh?”

  Why did my child have to be so damn perseptive? No sense in lying. “Nope, buddy, I don’t. He made a very bad mistake a long time ago and mommy can’t forgive him.”

  “You tell me all the time if I say sorry you will forgive me. Maybe Tristan just needs to tell you sorry.” Gabe yanked his hands from mine and took off running back to the group. “Tristaaaaan!”

  Great. I wanted to avoid him today. Now my son is going to have him trying to talk to me and be friends. I don’t want to be Tristan’s friend. I still wish Tristan would have been the one who died in the wreck, not Derek. I watched as Tristan smiled at my son and listened to every word he said. I may not like him, in fact I hate him, but he does love Gabe. The more Gabe said to Tristan, the more his smile faded. Tristan flashed his eyes to me. Standing, he brushed the sand off his hands and started walking toward me but stopped just a few feet away.

  “Didn’t think I would see you until later.”

  I froze. That voice. There it was again. I really didn’t want to deal with Gage, even more so than Tristan. This is not my damn day. “Why are you here?” I didn’t bother turning around. There was a small, albeit a teeny tiny part of me that wanted to run into Tristan’s arms and away from Gage. But, I didn’t. I stood frozen in place and watched as Tristan retreated back to our group of friends.

  I heard Gage snicker. “It’s a public beach and last I checked, I’m the public.” His voice was getting closer.